Hoi An, the tailor made tourist trap

On the bus a few hours south of Hue is the famous UNESCO heritage site of of Hoi An, famed for its unique local cuisine, fine tailoring and charming historic centre. Anthony visited in 2004 and remembered a quaint, quiet little town, perfect for pigging out on great food and chilling on the beach. It is undeniable that the streets are picture postcard, with rows of attractive wooden shopfronts broken by the occasional Chinese temple or assembly hall, just to add a splash of colour. At night, the streets are even prettier as they glow with the thousands of paper lanterns placed precisely to offer the perfect backdrop to a million selfies. However, there is something a little too flawless, polished and preened to make it feel like a genuinely historic place. The sheer quantity of boutiques, patisseries and coffee shops mean you could be mistaken for thinking you’re in a factory shopping village or a high end mall rather than a UNESCO heritage site, especially with Handel’s Water Music incongruously wafting through the air piped from speakers attached to lamp posts.

Given shopping is the beating pulse of Hoi An, this is probably the desired effect. Cobblers, tailors (and probably candle stick makers if you look hard enough) are everywhere and it’s big business.  Every other shop can make you the latest D&G couture gown or Gucci brogues – though more likely you’ll get a Next suit as every shop will thrust their 2017 catalogue into your hands upon entry.  With a twenty four hour turnaround and prices at around $85-100 for suit, its good value for bespoke and the quality has improved with the competition. Ant had two suits crafted by ‘Tony the Tailor’ plus a huge leather holdall made from a piece of hide in only eighteen hours ($60).

The Hoi An crowd in 2017 is very different from 2004. The backpackers have been largely priced out – in their place are Korean couples wearing their trademark identical ‘his and hers’ outfits and Chinese tour groups being peddled through the cobbled streets in huge snake-like formations of rickshaws. Nonetheless, the old food market retains an authentically Vietnamese buzz.  We have written about Mrs Tran in our food review and this place was cheap, cheerful and full of character.

Hoi An is beautiful, extremely laid back and is a stunning place to spend a few relaxing, romantic days – just don’t expect ‘old world’ authenticity.  It is now very much on the hit list of the international middle class and has lost some of its realism as a result.  Come to Hoi An to relax, refresh your wardrobe and indulge your taste-buds; just don’t expect traditional Vietnamese culture.